Thirsty Thursday: Why Your Goals Make You Miserable—and How to Feel Enough
Why Your Goals Are Making You Miserable (And What to Do Instead)
It’s Thursday night. Your inbox is overflowing, your to-do list is half-checked, and your brain is fried. The group chat lights up:
“Thirsty Thursday? 7 pm?”
You go. You drink. You laugh. You post a story.
And yet, on the Uber ride home, a familiar heaviness creeps in:
“I have all these goals. I’m pushing so hard. So why do I still feel this empty?”
If your goals feel like they’re draining you instead of energizing you, you’re not broken—and you’re not alone. It’s exactly the dynamic Joe Hudson explores in his work with Art of Accomplishment and in the idea of “why your goals are making you miserable.”
This Thirsty Thursday, instead of getting thirsty for another night of numbing out, what if you got thirsty for your goals in a way that actually feels good?
A Real-Life Scenario: When Goals Turn Against You
Meet Alex.
Alex is ambitious. They’ve got a vision board, a five-year plan, and a Notes app full of milestones:
Hit six figures.
Launch a side business.
Get in the best shape of their life.
Travel more.
Find a partner.
Every Monday, Alex wakes up with determination. By Wednesday, the pressure is building. By Thursday, it’s all too much. Thirsty Thursday becomes a ritual of escape.
Instead of feeling inspired by their goals, Alex feels:
Behind compared to peers.
Guilty for not doing more.
Anxious that time is running out.
Secretly resentful of their own ambitions.
The more goals they set, the less satisfied they feel. Each win brings only brief relief before the next “not enough” shows up.
Alex’s problem isn’t lack of discipline. It’s the relationship they have with their goals.
A Quote That Cuts Through the Illusion
There’s a powerful quote often attributed to Jim Carrey:
“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”
This is the heart of why your goals are making you miserable.
The issue isn’t goals themselves. It’s the belief that:
“Once I achieve this, I’ll finally feel okay.”
We don’t really want the goal. We want the emotion we think it will buy us: safety, love, freedom, pride, peace. When those feelings are outsourced to the future, the present becomes a problem to fix.
The Core Concept: Fixing Yourself vs. Expressing Yourself
Joe Hudson’s work points to a deep shift: moving from goals that try to fix you to goals that express you.
Most of us are taught to use goals as:
Fixes – “I’m not enough yet; this goal will repair that.”
Proof – “If I hit this, I can finally prove my worth.”
Escape hatches – “Once this happens, life will get easier.”
This is why your goals are making you miserable:
You constantly postpone feeling good until “someday.”
Your current self is always “not there yet.”
Every setback feels like a verdict on your value.
Now imagine a different approach.
Goals become:
Expressions of desire – “I genuinely want to experience or create this.”
Containers for growth – “This gives me a Playground to learn and expand.”
Amplifiers of enough-ness – “I’m already enough; this is how I choose to show up.”
Same external goals. Totally different emotional engine.
How to Relate to Your Goals Differently in Daily Life
Here’s how to start shifting out of misery-mode and into a healthier relationship with your goals.
1. Identify the Feeling Behind the Goal
Pick one major goal and ask:
“What do I believe I’ll finally feel when I achieve this?”
“What am I afraid I’ll feel if I don’t?”
Maybe you’re chasing:
Financial security → feeling safe.
Fitness → feeling confident.
Career success → feeling worthy.
Relationship → feeling loved.
Naming this honestly is the first step to understanding why your goals are making you miserable.
2. Bring That Feeling into the Present
Once you name the emotion, ask:
“Where do I already experience a small version of this feeling?”
“What’s one simple way I could feel this today?”
Examples:
If you want money for freedom, you might create freedom now by blocking off one hour just for what matters to you.
If you want a relationship for connection, you might deepen connection today by having an honest conversation with a friend.
If you want career success for respect, you might respect yourself today by setting a boundary or doing one high-quality piece of work.
Instead of waiting for the goal to deliver the emotion, you practice feeling it now.
3. Rewrite the Goal from a Place of Wholeness
Take your original goal and rewrite it starting with:
“From a place of already being enough, I choose to…”
For example:
“From a place of already being enough, I choose to build a six-figure business as a creative challenge and a way to serve.”
“From a place of already being enough, I choose to get stronger and healthier because I love feeling alive in my body.”
This tiny sentence shift moves you from fixing yourself to expressing yourself.
4. Choose Actions That Feel Like Expression, Not Punishment
Look at your to-do list for that goal and ask:
“Does this action feel like punishment for who I’m not, or expression of who I am?”
Then:
Keep the expressive actions (things that feel aligned, energizing, values-driven).
Reduce or reframe the punitive ones (things driven only by shame and comparison).
You’ll still work hard—but from a very different emotional place.
⏱️5-Minute Action Plan: Start Today
You don’t need a full life overhaul. Take five minutes.
1. Pick One Goal (1 minute)
Write down one goal that currently creates stress, pressure, or shame.
2. Name the Emotion (1 minute)
Finish this sentence:
“I believe that when I reach this goal, I’ll finally feel ______.”
Be radically honest.
3. Find a Tiny Present-Moment Version (1 minute)
Ask:
“What’s one small way I can feel a spark of that emotion today?”
Make it simple and doable today.
4. Rewrite the Goal (1 minute)
Rewrite it starting with:
“From a place of already being enough, I choose to…”
5. Choose One Expressive Next Step (1 minute)
Ask:
“What’s one next action toward this goal that feels like an expression of who I am, not a punishment?”
Do that today. Let that be enough for now.
As you rethink why your goals are making you miserable, consider turning this Thirsty Thursday into something different—not a night of escaping your life, but a moment of getting truly thirsty for a new way of pursuing what you want!
And when you’re ready to go deeper, you can pair this reflection with the YouTube video “Why Your Goals Are Making You Miserable” by Joe Hudson / Art of Accomplishment, or....
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This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through these links, I may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Thanks for reading and supporting the work!
FAQ: Why Your Goals Are Making You Miserable
1. Does this mean I should stop setting big goals?
No. Big goals can be exciting and meaningful. The invitation is to stop using them to prove your worth and start using them to express your values and desires.
2. How do I know if a goal is misaligned or unhealthy?
Notice your body’s response. If thinking about the goal brings tightness, dread, shame, or constant comparison, it’s probably driven by fear or “shoulds.” If it brings grounded excitement or curiosity (even with some nerves), it’s more aligned.
3. What if I have practical, survival-based goals like paying debt or rent?
You can still approach these from a place of self-respect rather than self-attack. “I choose to take care of my finances because I value stability,” is very different from, “I’m a failure until I fix this.”
4. Won’t I lose my edge if I stop being hard on myself?
In reality, self-attack tends to create burnout and avoidance. When your goals come from genuine desire and self-acceptance, your drive becomes more sustainable, creative, and resilient.
Get 👉 InnaPeace™ Hit your goals with less struggle and more consistency!
Pay It Forward! 🚀
~Brett
TheMorningMotivator.com · CompleteBusinessFitness.com
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